I reached out for help
It took me quite some time to consider what I should share and what I should not. Since I started this blog with the goal to help and to raise awareness, I've decided to be honest and true in this safe space of mine. In my previous post, I talked about how I suffered symptoms of anxiety and depression. Instinct tells me that I am suffering from both, but as someone who is always trying to spread positivity about mental health, I realize I was running away from the truth.
I decided to meet up with a doctor who has a psychiatry background (not really sure if he's still a psychiatrist now?). He offered to help with my mental health and I decided it was time for me to stop my nightmares. Turns out I am diagnosed with GAD, general anxiety disorder and depression. I was right all along. I started the session by sharing my feelings and behavior with the doctor. He asked me if I behaved a specific way, felt a specific way or have any kind of symptoms mentioned. I tried to be as truthful as possible and try not to hold back (Keeping in mind that the one that I am talking to is a doctor, I don't have to feel like he's judging me). In conclusion, I suffered from the following symptoms:
- Constant panic and fear + panic attacks
- shortness of breath
- Not being able to stay calm + heart palpitations
- Dizziness
- Numbness
- easy crying (tears running down for no reason)
- self-harm
- feeling unworthy
- feeling guilty
- Tiredness
- Losing interest
These are the symptoms that I suffer from (as much as I can remember now). I am lucky enough that I can still sleep at night, just that I constantly have really bad nightmares. Truly grateful for that as I have a history of suffering from sleep problems literally throughout my whole high school years. I am glad and comfortable that my doctor was very understanding, and kept reminding me that it's normal, it's okay to feel this way, and it is a very common illness (Totally agree as it sounds a lot like what I would say). He suggested starting my treatment by taking small amounts (or dosage I would say?) of antidepressants. Antidepressant is a kind of medication where it would help to relieve symptoms of depression, anxiety, and many other more mental illness. If I'm not wrong, the type of antidepressant that he prescribed me is SSRI (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor). Serotonin is basically the happy chemical in your body and SSRI helps to blocks the reabsorption of serotonin and increase the level of serotonin in the body. Although, not just the levels of serotonin in your body, there are many other reasons that can cause someone to suffer from mental illness. However, every professional has different perspectives, for example comparing a psychologist and a psychiatrist, or it depends on the professional's beliefs in different theories as well.
To be honest, I feel relief after the doctor's visit, but I do feel a bit depressed after. I am very overwhelmed with the news (although not surprise), but still glad I seek help. I need some time to go through treatment, I truly understand and will not expect to feel better in a day or two. I am sharing my experience and thoughts not to discourage you, that a mental health advocate like me is suffering from mental health and its sarcastic? I am sharing because I really want to remind myself, and also everyone out there, it doesn't matter who you are and what are your beliefs, it is normal and it is okay to suffer from mental illness. However, it does not mean that it shouldn't be taken seriously. Everyone should care about their mental health just like how they care about their other sickness.
If you're suffering from symptoms or you're just not feeling well, reach out and talk to someone. I took my first step and I hope you will too! I hope by sharing my experience I can inspire you to help yourself or others. Good luck to me and to you!
I decided to meet up with a doctor who has a psychiatry background (not really sure if he's still a psychiatrist now?). He offered to help with my mental health and I decided it was time for me to stop my nightmares. Turns out I am diagnosed with GAD, general anxiety disorder and depression. I was right all along. I started the session by sharing my feelings and behavior with the doctor. He asked me if I behaved a specific way, felt a specific way or have any kind of symptoms mentioned. I tried to be as truthful as possible and try not to hold back (Keeping in mind that the one that I am talking to is a doctor, I don't have to feel like he's judging me). In conclusion, I suffered from the following symptoms:
- Constant panic and fear + panic attacks
- shortness of breath
- Not being able to stay calm + heart palpitations
- Dizziness
- Numbness
- easy crying (tears running down for no reason)
- self-harm
- feeling unworthy
- feeling guilty
- Tiredness
- Losing interest
These are the symptoms that I suffer from (as much as I can remember now). I am lucky enough that I can still sleep at night, just that I constantly have really bad nightmares. Truly grateful for that as I have a history of suffering from sleep problems literally throughout my whole high school years. I am glad and comfortable that my doctor was very understanding, and kept reminding me that it's normal, it's okay to feel this way, and it is a very common illness (Totally agree as it sounds a lot like what I would say). He suggested starting my treatment by taking small amounts (or dosage I would say?) of antidepressants. Antidepressant is a kind of medication where it would help to relieve symptoms of depression, anxiety, and many other more mental illness. If I'm not wrong, the type of antidepressant that he prescribed me is SSRI (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor). Serotonin is basically the happy chemical in your body and SSRI helps to blocks the reabsorption of serotonin and increase the level of serotonin in the body. Although, not just the levels of serotonin in your body, there are many other reasons that can cause someone to suffer from mental illness. However, every professional has different perspectives, for example comparing a psychologist and a psychiatrist, or it depends on the professional's beliefs in different theories as well.
To be honest, I feel relief after the doctor's visit, but I do feel a bit depressed after. I am very overwhelmed with the news (although not surprise), but still glad I seek help. I need some time to go through treatment, I truly understand and will not expect to feel better in a day or two. I am sharing my experience and thoughts not to discourage you, that a mental health advocate like me is suffering from mental health and its sarcastic? I am sharing because I really want to remind myself, and also everyone out there, it doesn't matter who you are and what are your beliefs, it is normal and it is okay to suffer from mental illness. However, it does not mean that it shouldn't be taken seriously. Everyone should care about their mental health just like how they care about their other sickness.
If you're suffering from symptoms or you're just not feeling well, reach out and talk to someone. I took my first step and I hope you will too! I hope by sharing my experience I can inspire you to help yourself or others. Good luck to me and to you!
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| @areyouokcampaign |
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