Depression & Memory
Sometimes I do wonder if it's a good thing to be studying psychology. I have doubts, but I do enjoy it a lot. I tend to be very rational when it comes to dealing with my mental health, which leads to a bit of guilt wondering if I am just looking for excuses to feel/react in this way. Rational in a way where I know why I am reacting this way and I know that it is normal and common, but people around me don't understand it like I do. This leads to finger-pointing and I will start to feel the blame which is causing my guilt. Maybe you're wondering whats the relationship between memory and depression. This is something that I acknowledge lately after reading the book "The Seven Sins of Memory: How the Mind Forgets and Remembers" by Daniel Schacter. Never thought that our human brain can relate so much when it comes to mental health and here are some interesting facts that I found regarding memory and depression.
Dealing with depression is not easy. If you'd ask me, I would say dealing with depressive episodes is harder than dealing with panic attacks. You want the negative thoughts/memories to get off your mind but you feel like you're not in control. The same thing just comes to you again and again, again and again. Like the song that is stuck in your head during exams. When these memories just keep coming to you involuntarily, it is a form of persistence, which is one of the seven sins of memory.
It is much easier to remember incidents that involve emotions. You tend to easily remember the day you graduated, the day you got married, the day when you lose your loved one. Positive experience and negative experiences tend to be remembered involuntarily and intrusively. In other words, you do not purposely try to look back at these memories, but these memories come to you. I think most of us experience some unwanted memories coming to, especially negative ones, where you just want it off your head. Persistence of negative memories happens to me very often, which I personally think it is one of the reasons that lead to my depressive episodes. Therefore, people like to tell individuals who are suffering from depression to "stop thinking about it and it will go away". That is literally the worst thing to say. Although people around me still says something like this to me, I personally do not blame them and I am used to hearing words like this. It is not the best thing to say, I do not feel comforted or better, but I understand that most people do not know how to handle a situation like this.
Persistence happens to everybody, regardless if its a positive or a negative memory. However, it does not mean that persistence of negative memories will always lead to depression. Daniel did mention in his book that depression is associated with highly negative self-schema (self-schema: evaluative knowledge of your own characteristics). In other words, a person who has a more negative self-schema tends to be easily depressed and are more prone to persistence. When the persistence of negative memories happens, it hits. It is a two-way thing. Happy mood retrieves happy memories. Sad mood retrieves sad memories.
So you see :( This is why "stop thinking about it and it will go away" is not really the best thing to say. Sometimes there are things that are beyond our control. We tried hard to be involved in hobbies, find distractions by doing self-care activities but still, it takes time to feel better again and it's okay. When you understand yourself too much, you know that it is normal to feel this way, you know that it is okay to feel this way. Not just people who are suffering from mental health needs to understand that it is okay and normal, but people around them need to understand it too. People need to start being aware that both your physical and mental health matters and it is a two-way thing. Keep in mind, if you do have a negative self-schema, it does not mean that you'll stay this way forever. There are things we can control. If it makes you unhappy, don't do it. If it makes you uncomfortable, don't do it. Do not feel guilty about it. You have the right to be doing things to make yourself happy and comfortable. Do as much as you can, big or small, progress is progress. I hope you feel better, maybe not now, and it okay. Good luck!
Dealing with depression is not easy. If you'd ask me, I would say dealing with depressive episodes is harder than dealing with panic attacks. You want the negative thoughts/memories to get off your mind but you feel like you're not in control. The same thing just comes to you again and again, again and again. Like the song that is stuck in your head during exams. When these memories just keep coming to you involuntarily, it is a form of persistence, which is one of the seven sins of memory.
It is much easier to remember incidents that involve emotions. You tend to easily remember the day you graduated, the day you got married, the day when you lose your loved one. Positive experience and negative experiences tend to be remembered involuntarily and intrusively. In other words, you do not purposely try to look back at these memories, but these memories come to you. I think most of us experience some unwanted memories coming to, especially negative ones, where you just want it off your head. Persistence of negative memories happens to me very often, which I personally think it is one of the reasons that lead to my depressive episodes. Therefore, people like to tell individuals who are suffering from depression to "stop thinking about it and it will go away". That is literally the worst thing to say. Although people around me still says something like this to me, I personally do not blame them and I am used to hearing words like this. It is not the best thing to say, I do not feel comforted or better, but I understand that most people do not know how to handle a situation like this.
Persistence happens to everybody, regardless if its a positive or a negative memory. However, it does not mean that persistence of negative memories will always lead to depression. Daniel did mention in his book that depression is associated with highly negative self-schema (self-schema: evaluative knowledge of your own characteristics). In other words, a person who has a more negative self-schema tends to be easily depressed and are more prone to persistence. When the persistence of negative memories happens, it hits. It is a two-way thing. Happy mood retrieves happy memories. Sad mood retrieves sad memories.
So you see :( This is why "stop thinking about it and it will go away" is not really the best thing to say. Sometimes there are things that are beyond our control. We tried hard to be involved in hobbies, find distractions by doing self-care activities but still, it takes time to feel better again and it's okay. When you understand yourself too much, you know that it is normal to feel this way, you know that it is okay to feel this way. Not just people who are suffering from mental health needs to understand that it is okay and normal, but people around them need to understand it too. People need to start being aware that both your physical and mental health matters and it is a two-way thing. Keep in mind, if you do have a negative self-schema, it does not mean that you'll stay this way forever. There are things we can control. If it makes you unhappy, don't do it. If it makes you uncomfortable, don't do it. Do not feel guilty about it. You have the right to be doing things to make yourself happy and comfortable. Do as much as you can, big or small, progress is progress. I hope you feel better, maybe not now, and it okay. Good luck!
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| @selfcareisapriority |
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